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生​ま​れ​た​て​の​雪

by Lycopene

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1.
Umaretate no Yuki 02:59
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I can’t hide a feeling When it’s my drive to go on I can’t promise to forget you When all my dreams follow your voice I can’t say I regret the time Even if I’d die tomorrow I can’t say I forgive you For being so kind to me I can’t say I’ll stop fighting my demons Imagining you’re by my side I know it’s been so many years But my greatest fear is that I’ll forget 生まれたての雪 が降っている 七年前から 風のたどり着く場所から How many moments…
2.
Sanguine Snow 02:34
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Keep moving on Keep moving forward through all of the hard times I’ll always run Towards the hope that maybe you’ll come back one day Sometimes I’m so tired A heart half empty The snowstorm sustains But I’ll keep running Towards your voice Towards our memories Even if yours came back to you I’d never be more than blood I’ll always smile Even in moments where I remember How our love Is not destined for us in this tragedy Only me Wait for me I see your footprints As long as the snow still holds their shape I’ll always run back to you This curse buries me Please recall my name Seven years is a long time To be gone Underneath the snow and the ice I’ve been waiting patiently Shoes not moving on a frozen ground I’ve been running in place Towards your voice Through the barren snowscape Even if all the ice melts away I’ll never be more than blood and tears I’ll never be what you need
3.
Angel Wings 04:22
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Put on a smile Put on a pair of wings As I stumble, running through the marketplace Snow underfoot, but a warm hand catches me Scolding me, but it’s a voice 懐かしい I’m flying on angel wings They’re those you gave to me A promise I can’t keep I feel I’ve seen this before Is this all just a dream? Don’t wake me Put on a song I heard so long ago As we enter the snowstorm, what are we chasing now? I think it was something that you gave to me Something precious, something I needed to keep Fly through this eternal dream Creating memories I never lived to see Die in this eternal dream Relinquish memories Will I ever wake up?
4.
Flickering Stars 02:44
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Waiting a lifetime for tomorrow Snow coming down in the light of the moon I want to believe you’ll be standing there Please don’t melt away with the coming seasons ついに希望の光を見つけた ついに優しい気持ちを見つけた でも吹雪の中で声が届けない 重ねて見失った 待って。。。待って I see Two stars in the sky I feel Their generous light I watch as they flicker Fear grips my heart Please be there Tomorrow night Waiting a moment in uncertainty Feels like a lifetime in darkness I hope I’ll find your tracks left in snow, I’ll follow them home As long as there’s one star left, I’ll try to navigate
5.
Absent God 06:28
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So many words are thin But I see yours carved in stone To say I’ve seen the light I’ve been all but mesmerized Just a glimpse in the distance But it’s the most I’ve ever seen… And the most I care to know I pledge my hollow soul You offer forgiveness I change my very self You offer love Always looking over my shoulder At those I’ve left behind Give me a reason To look forward… To move forward Oh my God I can’t trust anyone so I will trust in you Oh my God I can’t see any light, so I will follow you Oh my God Nothing but hedonist vermin surrounding me Oh my God Banish my suffering; grant me your company Oh my God I find your chapel upon the highest cliff Oh my God Overlooking the ocean as the sun gently rises Oh my God I climb my way to the holy steeple above Oh my God I bare my sins and prepare for your judgement I abandon all those tied to their earthly sins Who wallow in moments of shallow passion Who swallow the poison and then swallow seed Then breathe in the smoke as if their hearts they do not bleed I turn deaf to my call to silence their voices To set free the blood bound by parasitic flesh Though I long to see the light fade from their eyes Much stronger my heart longs to be right by your side I stand before you, so lawfully bound I’ve lived by commandments carved clear in my eyes Read every word of the texts you provide Lived by each sermon and walked every line I’ve cut out my heart, torn the flesh from the bone Abandon my shadow as I leap from chapel stone I look to the sunrise as I fall through the sky But as I catch a glimpse – God’s not looking at me
6.
To Remove Me 03:55
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Fall; I’ve always been just like the snow To my knees; whenever you were there Will you watch me As my final days melt away Gone; I didn’t know how long I had With the wind; so long yet so fleeting Will you mold me Back into a person again Or for the first time When the snow becomes rain When the trees bare leaves When the darkness falls Will I still be here I’d be lying if I said that I Wasn’t scared of permanent goodbyes Will you recall me When my voice slips from memories I’d be lying if I said that I don’t hope for you to find A miracle for me Will you keep me Even when the sun’s burning bright Erasing me When I melt away When I join the wind When I disappear Will you care at all
7.
Sapporo 04:32
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In this city of snow And ice And light Despite the cold I feel warm And I feel I’ve been here before Stepping out, I remember scenes I remember feelings, tugging on my heart Bringing me here Maybe it was in a dream (Or maybe in another life) And here in this city of snow and ice and light Maybe I could raise another life Maybe in the artificial light Reflected off the snowflakes at night I could have hope I could let go of my god And start to believe in something more In something beside me Not hiding In the shadows Of an artificial life And I’m building the streets to a kingdom of snow And they’re not easy to walk, but you can never get lost And I’m building the scenes of a life never lived And I’m not dreaming this time, don’t say I’m dreaming this time And I’m carving the snow in the shape of a grave So you can bury me here, please remember me here And there’s a park nearby with sturdy evergreens And the foxes play there, look at their innocent eyes And all the monsters I’ve angered have come to follow me here But I’m prepared for them now, I’ve kept a place for them here And I’m building the walls of my cold kingdom come And I’m not shivering I’m not shivering And I’m building the fears of my cold kingdom come And I’m not shivering I’m not shivering For the palm a tiny hand is melting a hole For artificial light illuminated light And the palm of a tiny hand is melting a hole So I can always see out And a smile so bright, there’s no way you could call it Artificial light And we’re building the scenes of a life never lived Out of snow and ice and light And we’re building a frozen kingdom Up to the sky
8.
Ice Empire 05:12
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Icicle crown I’m in control Frozen in time I own it all A blanket of snow It covers the wounds It conceals the shadows dancing As far as it reaches, I will call it my empire Soldiers cannot leave or abandon when they’re frozen in place Frozen with a smile on their face, they will fight for peace Snow falls day and night The wind blows it away A flurry of security and happiness, I have it all Rightful heir this will all be yours A flurry of security and happiness, I will make it mine A body shatters so easily in ice But I won’t forget the crash and pain when the crown falls Shattering on frozen floors now melting in the sun A warm August a cruel reminder everything is temporary A feeling of permanence is a dangerous lie to believe And I won’t forget everything could shatter in a moment Or it could melt away losing shape day by day And I won’t forget for every loving hand to help you up A million more eager to tear you down and take what’s left as salvage For you, I could try to trust so you won’t be scared but To ignore the damage dealt and the lessons learned in a selfish world is foolish Be better than me, be better than the husks of humans who wander here For when the crown is your treasure to wear, you’ll look out to the dark and find that they need a savior For I have nothing but hate Because I’m done giving them chances Because I have no hope Because any one of them could be you
9.
The Fox's Grudge 02:46
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Love me Repair me Confide in me I’ll listen Trick me Don’t leave me Abandon me I’ll find you! Why’d you take me in Just to let me die in summer’s arms alone Chase you chase you Can’t escape the burning hatred Crush you crush you Can’t outrun a living grudge Need you need you Can’t deny that there is something in the winter wind keeping me beside you Can’t remember I only know I can’t forgive you How you hurt me But the feeling advises me Love me love me You’re the only face I know in a fading world leaving me behind Fight Don’t fight Love Don’t… Can’t Remember Can’t Forgive Hey I know it’s been Some time I think I’m losing my mind But I remember you Keep me, keep me In your memory Keep me, at least For this moment I can barely say my name What was it again? I can almost hear… Are those ringing bells? I know you are Important to me Why? I can’t… Just hold on to me One last moment In the sunset Ringing bells Call me back to the place where the wind blows
10.
Marizon 05:14
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Sunrises Hold your eyes They gaze At me While I wait For your wings to Unfold And fly August still Has your name And when it calls I fall Once again To my knees I just want to see you rise above your despair Fly there Sleep on the bed of clouds, they were made for you Marizon Once you have bled out the pain, you’ll ascend into heaven Or if you want to, You could settle for my arms, and just cry it away I’m still stuck On what ifs More for you than me (The only time that I’ve been selfless) Would you have been okay? And if so, would I give up everything I’ve earned since then And choose that lifetime? August still has your name And I’m getting better, I only hear your name maybe once a day But I still always see you In the sunrise I just wanted everything I perceived to be real Please forgive me I could never know what you were fighting inside Marizon I’ve created a fantasy in the sky And I can find you there Where the waves are crashing, the sun is rising, it’s August, and you smile.
11.
Last Stand at Winterwheat Fields 04:49
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I was all alone Ostracized by the power of life I held Their fear of death condemned me I was just a child I had to go north, I had nothing Until you reached out to me I was never asking for any more than you A friend to call my name When we played in the fields I never thought the days would end It was the last time I smiled Then the monsters came Concrete demons slaying the memories of youth I desperately called your name But you left me there alone 檻の中に I’m fighting a war with illusions Cursed to carry the blade Repressing the tears of life My battlefield; a grave of the past My memories all desecrated In this city of miracles I stand in the darkest cage Then you returned After so long Do you have any idea The pain I’ve endured Every single night Every single night For seven years I’ve taken up the sword Fighting demons who wished to take the only sacred place I had They won every battle Now the only thing that stands here is my concrete prison Release me release me The fields of youth and innocence have been paved over 思い出して、思い出して Now I’ve come to accept This war will never be over No matter how hard I fight The demons will always return Do you see me now I have no place in this world (I have no place in your heart) Point the sword to the source of it all It’s time for me to go (It’s time for me to go)
12.
Husk 08:05
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I am nothing But the remains Of the shadow Of a creature So far from human Still I wait For an excuse To try and pass off this stillborn heart As one of theirs Despite repeated failures And pain Something Longs for more More than nothing There’s a heart behind the mask Struggling to break the façade There’s an eye watching the heart That proves the façade to be real Die inside to endure life Let your pain protect your smile Let the black protect the world Don’t connect to a beating heart You know you’ll want it in your hands You know you’ll want them dead Awake Don’t feel Don’t worry Cover Don’t care Don’t love Sleep Don’t dream Don’t hope Awake Don’t lust Don’t kill Detach Don’t trust Don’t Breath Breath Don’t speak Don’t cry Don’t reach out Scream Silence Failure Pain Restart Shed my insides I walk, a husk Carry nothing no lifeform Effortless bliss To feel nothing no pain No happiness I can’t shed a tear without a loss So I hold nothing Even in safety Sometimes, I wonder Did I fail myself Have I failed you You, yet to live Yet I am dead Stars fall like snow Right between my fingers Let me save one Let me feel something Let me give something Please let me feel I’ll take the pain Let me show I care And truly mean it Even if I fear it I want to feel it
13.
How Many Minutes Until the Sunrise 16:57
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How many minutes until the sunrise I want this moment with you to last How many more sleepless nights Spent thinking of you How many more wishes will I make on those distant stars Before I give up on that fading light that’s long dead How many more days do I look to the sun and hope That you’ll notice how I love you so And how many minutes till the sunrise I still can’t see any light behind the ocean I block out everything except you When the sound of you voice is the only noise I can hear Tell me of your hopes Of your dreams Of your fears Of how you will never last in the real world And how many minutes until the sunrise The darkness starting to flee from the sky This moment so sacred so precious to me It will never be replayed again I can smile now But tomorrow might be different You’re here with me now But tomorrow will be different And the weeks and months to come What will I do? As you’re not there with me And I can’t be there for you I swear, if you loved yourself As much as I love you You could be happy And I’d be happy just to love you But it will never come to pass And how many minutes until the sunrise I want this to last _______ You sitting there What do you think Of the chill In the air Do you notice Or, is it just me How long Do you think we have How long can I pretend that this is going somewhere And are you pretending How much is real Do you have feelings Do you have feelings And how many minutes until the sunrise I’m worried when this moment ends Do we have anything An excuse to see you Cause I don’t have a reason ____ How long Oh, how long… I love you I love you And how long until the sunrise I see some light over the horizon How many minutes in this moment Sitting here with you And are they as precious to you as to me I know the answer and it hurts It hurts How many minutes until the sunrise I still haven’t told you… what’s on my mind I won’t give up on you just yet The strongest feeling I’ve ever felt deserves more of a fight And so do you How many moments left until the end Each one as precious as this right now How many minutes are left before the sun rises I see the light in the distance Does that mean it’s over? Does that mean it’s over? Are you already gone?

about

Half of the album is inspired by the music and characters of Key's 1999 visual novel Kanon. The other half is inspired by those I have cared about or will care about.

credits

released January 6, 2020

Kanon and its music belong to Key Studios and its writers Jun Maeda, Orito Shinji, and OdiakeS. Thanks to them for moving and inspiring me so intensely.

Thank you to all the people in my life who have helped or believed in me, and to those who have moved me in one way or another.

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Lycopene Mount Airy, Maryland

Combining New Age instrumentation and sensibilities with Metal, Punk, and Rock structure to create Post-Age music.

You can use my music as long as you contact me and ask permission first.

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